Geology, n. the science of the Earth’s crust -- to which, doubtless, will be added that of its interior whenever a man shall come up garrulous out of a well. The geological formations of the globe already noted are catalogued thus: The Primary, or lower one, consists of rocks, bones of mired mules, gas-pipes, miner’s tools, antique statues minus the nose, Spanish doubloons and ancestors. The Secondary is largely made up of red worms and moles. The Tertiary comprises railway tracks, patent pavements, grass, snakes, mouldy boots, beer bottles, tomato cans, intoxicated citizens, garbage, anarchists, snap-dogs and fools.

From The Devil’s Dictionary  (Ambrose Bierce, 1911)

and Oceanography...(here's the mud)

"He had long ago decided, since he was a serious scholar, that the caves of ocean bear no gems, but only soggy glub and great gobs of mucky gump."
 - (James Thurber) [thanks to Kathy Scanlon for this one]

...and at Universities...(more mud)

"They teach you anything in universities today. You can major in mud pies" - (Orson Welles)

"I was a modest, good-humoured boy. It is Oxford that has made me insufferable" - (Max Beerbohm)

Links to more geo-humo(u)r
    locally provided -
Footprints of the Giant Thunderbunny
Genesee Beer Facies
The alien in the globe? (only superficially amusing - the image is striking, but the implications are entirely serious)
a few amusing exam answers, including an illustration
The Meteorological Hotel
People for the Ethical Treatment of Rocks (PETR)
Two dinosaur rhymes
Wizard of Id graduate oral exam warning

    offsite -

SCIENCE MADE STUPID - The Earth;  geoillogic timescale

Geological Howlers - sadly this has vanished from the original site, but the wayback machine remembers
- http://www.keele.ac.uk/eesg/students/linksandresources/examhowlers/

REAL GEOLOGISTS... - the Institute still stands, but the nolledge has escaped; the wayback machine has retained it
 formerly - http://www.nolledge.com/geosphere.html

Secret Agent North Seven East - also long gone, but bonded in the wayback machine
- formerly - http://home.earthlink.net/%7Ebcrabtree/n7e.html

The Tao of (weather) Forecasting - and this too has suffered forgetfulness, except the wayback machine allows its contemplation
 - formerly at http://www.weathergraphics.com/tao.htm

Weather Forecasting  Rock - climate change may have eroded it, but the wayback machine caught the image
- http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_jun2004/WeatherRock.jpg

Weather Forecasting Toast - still available in 2025; another sign that we are all to be toast?

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