- (James Thurber) [thanks to Kathy Scanlon for this one]
Geology, n. the science of the Earth’s crust -- to which, doubtless, will be added that of its interior whenever a man shall come up garrulous out of a well. The geological formations of the globe already noted are catalogued thus: The Primary, or lower one, consists of rocks, bones of mired mules, gas-pipes, miner’s tools, antique statues minus the nose, Spanish doubloons and ancestors. The Secondary is largely made up of red worms and moles. The Tertiary comprises railway tracks, patent pavements, grass, snakes, mouldy boots, beer bottles, tomato cans, intoxicated citizens, garbage, anarchists, snap-dogs and fools.
From The Devil’s Dictionary (Ambrose Bierce, 1911)
and Oceanography...(here's the mud)
"He had long ago decided, since he was a serious scholar, that the
caves
of ocean bear no gems, but only soggy glub and great
gobs
of
mucky
gump."
- (James Thurber)
[thanks to Kathy Scanlon for this one]
...and at Universities...(more mud)
"They teach you anything in universities today. You can major in mud pies" - (Orson Welles)
"I was a modest, good-humoured boy. It is Oxford
that has made me insufferable" - (Max Beerbohm)
Links to more geo-humo(u)r
locally provided -
Footprints of the Giant Thunderbunny
Genesee Beer Facies
The alien in the globe? (only
part-humorous)
a few amusing exam answers
The
Meteorological Hotel
People for the Ethical Treatment of Rocks (PETR)
offsite -
SCIENCE MADE STUPID - The Earth; geoillogic timescale
